A very retail Christmas to you and to you

Another Christmas Eve at the nut shop, another dud Christmas shirt. When grabbing one off the rack at Cheap as Chips I guess I was too distracted by ensuring that it was a tolerable colour (black... red and white aren't really *my thing*, yanow) and a decent size (i.e. somewhere in between kidswear and tent) to notice that a bulging cartoon thermometer isn't the best thing to have in vicinity of the word 'naughty'. Oh dear.

Its the time of year where we decide which of the 'newies' we want to keep on after their stints as Christmas casuals. One girl first struck me as very outgoing, confident with customers, chatty, etc. I liked her. However, conversations behind boxes in the back room have revealed that I am perhaps the only one of that opinion, and that in fact many people have indicated to the manager that they 'won't work with her' as they find her incredibly grating and annoying. Attempts to convince me first seemed like outraged gibberish. "Have you seen the way she stands? Yes, exactly like that! With her hands on her hips! And she does this and this - " "And the way she leans on the counter..." "I showed [other new girl] how to change an EFTPOS roll and she kept just looking! And now she'll probably think she knows how to change it too!"

THE HORROR! EFTPOS ROLL INITIATIVE!

Having said that, I can understand some reservations. While I think it's a little bitter to stop potentially valuable people working because they seem too good too early, or some such, it is true that you need a degree of... compliance... when you're new at a job. When we say jump you say how high! When we say fill you say how full! Etc.

Anyway, we have these stickers that say 'I made the biggest sale today!' and this girl decided to take one for herself. "Was mine the biggest sale? If not, I'll just write 'second biggest' on there! BAHAHAHA..." Apparently she actually did this when somebody 'overtook' her sale. Whatever. (I'm sorry, this anecdote seems to have been bogged in backstory, like a hiker caught in quicksand). A while later I'm on my break, eating a pretzel at the back room table, when I hear the pissed-off voice of another staff member, who is the manager's daughter and the biggest detractor of this new girl. "A second-biggest sale does not exist," I hear her saying, the frost of her statement practically seeping under the back room door. "Whatsoever!"

Buh... um. Point taken, these stickers shall not be donned lightly! But... this staff member was adamant even later on that there was no such thing as a second-biggest sale. There... kinda is. I mean. If we're being technical, here.

PET HATES OF NUT SHOP

Customers who don't get that two products may be different prices. "These are the same price, so can you mix them together?"
"Actually, they're different prices," (said politely) "But I can still mix them together for you..." (proceeds to weigh out separately.)
"No, they're the same price."
"Well actually they're not -"
"They're both seven dollar bags."
"Um, one is seven dollars for 250 grams, the other one is seven dollars for 210 grams, you see? They're a different kilo price. But thats ok! I can still mix them together."

The fact that it is a months-long process to get a shirt in another size, and even then it seems I only have a choice of short and square or long and rectangular. You'd think, being in a job involving much bending and squatting, they'd make a blouse that didn't expose half your back every time you dug a scoop from a lower display... but no. After many buttons fell off my old shirt I ended up with a super large one, and without the curves to carry it off I resemble an orange tent in my work uniform. However, I guess it has the pleasant rare bonus of everyone exclaiming with surprise over my figure when I come into work out of uniform as if they'd forgotten I had a a torso under there.

The family-oriented staff team can be quite bitchy and cliquey.

Customers who think they're really funny. "It says grab a bag, does that mean I can grab it and not pay? Nyuh nyuh nyuh. See darl, grab a bag. Hah."

Despite the fact that there are many undesirable customers, some staff bitch about customers who really aren't that bad. In fact, the main problem may be that they're Asian.

Customers who can clearly speak fluent English, but just jab at displays instead of reading the labels on there. Um, there's a curved wall and a bunch of products between your finger and my line of sight. A little clearer, please? I guess there are probably more illiterate among us than I'd realise, but. Come on.
"That one."
"The dry-roasted mix?"
"No, that one."
*Leans exaggeratedly over counter to crane at where customer is pointing* "The... unsalted millionaires mix?"
*Jabs harder* "THAT ONE."
"I'm sorry, I can't see from this side - second one along?"
"THAT ONE. The... the MIX."

Gah. Even if you can't read, use some bloody communication. The one in the bottom corner? The one with all the peanuts? I get way more irritated by English speakers who can't communicate than I do at ethnic sorts.

THINGS I LIKE ABOUT THE NUT SHOP

It's easy to roster time off.

Being part of a 'team' does has something going for it, at Christmas at least. The hostel is good in other ways (gee, maybe next post I'll do a comparable list! Won't that be exciting!) but being part of a group can be sort of nice. Sometimes you want to be a cog in a big established machine rather than an eccentric doo-hickey that you can wind up to totter along by itself. (Um).

For the most part, customer requests are simple and easily fulfilled. This is an overlooked good point. Also, even the most annoying customer? They leave. Could you imagine if they lived in the shop, and on top dealing with all their requests and concerns you also had to collect their rent, except they had no money, and they were waiting for Centrelink on Tuesday, and maybe you could kick them out but they have nowhere to go and they'd live in the car but its raining and the wife's got the flu, gee maybe they could do some work in lieu of payment but then they leave and don't do that and then they come back breathing their smoke in your face and getting up close with their grotty teeth and saying that they want to sort out the payment, like didn't we already DO that, I believe there are still bathroom tiles needing to be scrubbed which you dodged out of, IN A SYSTEM WE WORKED OUT TO KEEP A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD, so maybe they could rock up to work if they're not going to pay, and then you can't get stroppy with them because they've befriended other staff always want to speak to someone 'higher' and of course they're going to pay, otherwise why would they have come back? Do you think they're a bad type or summink?

Uh.

I think I've spent too much time at work these last few weeks. At work, or at Christmas 'do's'. This post is clearly deteriorating. I don't mind either job at all, and I do like seeing family and friends as well, of course, but you know. A girl needs a little hermit time every once in a while. On that note, you can't just sit rambling away your thoughts forever. Boyfriends are coming over soon, gifts are to be exchanged, and somebody made a calender appointment on my phone with 'location: DW's pants'.

Merry Christmas. Seriously =)