100 days within 6 months

...is the amount of time you have to commit to working for Active Assistance for the training course to be free.



Just talking to a British voice on the phone is giving me the itch to leave!



H is also keen to leave this 'bum town'. Hopefully we can coordinate some overseas travel together, when/if we both go. 3 things keeping me from caving to her requests and going on a trip now:



1. Uni. Semester starting soon, and if I'm going to plan to leave for 2 or 3 semesters then I don't want to miss any more than that, you know?



2. DW. Volumes could be written here.



3. Money. Well this is the main one, and perhaps the only real reason, because once I have the funds then I plan on dealing with #1 and #2.


"Dealing with". That sounds so harsh. "Overcoming the obstacles". Because a loving relationship is an "obstacle"?

I have finally managed to reconcile my two realities, into what sounds worryingly like a "life plan". I say worryingly, because naming a plan invites interference. However, it's better to have a plan than to have one side of my brain wondering about the logistics of when we have kids, at the same time as the other side of my brain thinks about leaving him. Because that's just confusing.

My end goal is to be with DW. With the knowledge that it's something that I've chosen rather than drifted into.

The first part makes sense, right? He's the best thing that I know. It might turn out that if I give myself a chance to find something 'better', I'll find it, but you know what? I think I'm pretty damn lucky. I think I understand when I hear people say, 'He's not Mr Perfect, but he's Mr Perfect-for-me.'

No, if I leave I don't think it'll be with the goal of leaving forever to 'find somebody better'. It'll be with the goal of coming back to what I suspect is the right man.

You could argue at me from both sides. If I want to be with him, why leave him? If I'm going to leave him, why bother saying how awesome he is and how I want to come back to him?

Here's the thing. DW was my first guy. I've never so much as kissed another (ok, one other). DW is the texting-in-between-classes, making-out-with-parents-in-the-next-room, eighteenth-birthday-party, cuddling-on-a-single-bed guy. At the other end of things, DW is the one I want to walk the dog with, furnish a house with, have a baby with. (You know what? When I thought we were going to break up, a while ago, I was in tears over the fact that he wouldn't father my children. That's, I don't know. Yeah.)

It's just the in-between stage that niggles at me. I don't want to jump from that first stage to the last, without anything else in between. I don't want to 'drift' into my life, I want to make a decision to commit to him, and an informed one at that. If I don't travel and have new experiences now for the sake of staying by his side I think I might come to resent him for that, and then nobody wins.

Aaanyway. Though well from done, this topic is premature. I shouldn't mention it to DW yet, since why stir trouble before you have to? If (when?) I leave, it wouldn't be for another year. A YEAR. That's a long time.

So. I've seen more movies since last time I posted. During uni time I'm notoriously bad for getting around to watching any movies - I tend to think, 'how could I commit to wasting 2 hours of my time in front of the TV! I'll just quickly check facebook and then get back to work' and then end up wasting 4 hours on the internet instead. So I'm happy to be getting up a reasonable tally here.

Bran Nue Day (seen with J) - bizarre! Huh. Made-for-TV, anyone?

(500) Days of Summer (downloaded by Dad)- good good. I liked the 'expectations' versus 'reality' split screen. Although, it caused me trouble when, after a moment of uncontrollable giggling while playing squash with DW, I tried to visualise myself taking the game seriously. Of course a split screen pops up in my head, with me being a squash star on one side and messing up serve after serve on the other side. That did nothing to curb my helpless giggles. I'll let you imagine which side of the 'screen' was accurate.

In The Loop - (seen with H) - funny, although you had to pay attention to keep up. Very British. Thumbs up.

A Serious Man (downloaded by dad) - weird. A bit too long. Not altogether bad, but not really... that good.

Dan in Real Life (borrowed from the library by mum) - nice film! Big nawws all round. Makes me want a big wooden house by a lake.

I'm going bowling tonight with my 'country' friend whose just gotten back from a month in Korea. Looking forward to it, we should have lots to catch up on. Will be good to see how the house party some other friends ended up after we left, too. (Now THAT was a good evening, complete with much Strongbow and chocolate licquer).

So, in short, it's time to eat some noodles and get moving.

--khere's kitchen rules.